


Prove it

by gogumark



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-19 03:43:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8188294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gogumark/pseuds/gogumark
Summary: Youngjae wants to be the reason to spur a change in Jaebum but, will he be enough?





	1. Old habits die hard

Jaebum winces as he drags himself to the nearest clinic. A child cries when they eyes meet and Jaebum flinches from his high-pitched screams. He turns away from the whimpering child and raises the collar of his leather jacket in a pitiful attempt to cover his bloodied face.

He finally finds one and limps his way inside.

“Name?"

“Im Jaebum."

“Please take a number and wait for your turn to be called,” The lady across the desk stopped mid-sentence to gasp when she finally notices him.

“You need immediate attention, please wait here.”

Despite his heavy injuries, he scoffs at her statement. _Where else would he wait?_

He contemplates calling Youngjae to update him about his whereabouts. But then the lady returns with a doctor behind her. She ushers him onto a free bed and the doctor efficiently rips open his filthy shirt to a parade of blue black patches decorating his tanned skin and a freshly cut wound. He cursed internally at the asshole who took him by surprise with a pocket knife earlier. He had slashed his side while he was fighting off another guy but Jaebum didn’t let him go easily, as he kicked his knife away after noticing and landed a perfect back hook to his face.

He’s thankful for the doctor’s expertise as he quickly cleaned and stitched up his wounds. He’s also extremely grateful that he’s a quiet worker as it wouldn’t be the first time he’s had an overly-concerned doctor tend to him while nagging throughout. Words of advice didn’t matter since it wouldn’t be the last time he’ll end up this way anyway. He bowed slightly to the doctor once he was done and avoided his worried gaze.

“Hey kid,” The doctor called unexpectedly when he was making payment for his treatment and medicines. “Keep my name card. Next time, if you get yourself in trouble and no one attends to you, call me personally.”

_Dr. Park Jinyoung_

“Don’t glare at me, kid I just saved your life. Go, and stay out of trouble. I don’t wish to see you so soon.” Jinyoung chides before getting called to attend to other patients.

Jaebum swallows the deep lump he feels in his throat but turns away cooly without thanking him. He didn’t need to be thanked twice, and he seemed annoying too. _Who’s he calling kid?_

The moment he reached his studio apartment he crashes on his bed and yells, temporarily forgetting about his injury. The temperamental and crazy widow living below him screamed and threatened him to shut up. Jaebum ignores her and gets off the bed, clutching tightly to his waist in agony.

His phone rings.

He wants to desperately pretend he doesn’t hear it but a pressing feeling tells him it’s Youngjae and he lowers his head in guilt and shame. He cowardly turns to the bathroom to take a shower when his phone rings again, and again, and again.

Jaebum finally picks up.

“Jaebum hyung! I was so worried! How dare you ignore my calls?”

Jaebum feels something in him break when he hears the younger’s sobs coming from across the line. This is precisely why he doesn’t want to pick up.

“So? If you don’t want me to cry all the damn time then freaking pick up when I call the first time and stop fighting.” Youngjae wails.

“You must be tired,” Youngjae suddenly says calmly after a period of crying on his end. “Wash up quickly and try to sleep. Goodnight.” He ends the call suddenly and Jaebum throws his phone to the far end of the room. It crashes against the wall and bounces back on the wooden floor. He doesn’t realise till he’s out of the shower that his face was still wet, with angry hot fresh tears flowing down his flushed cheeks. He nearly punches his bathroom mirror in frustration but remembers his promise to Youngjae to not to take his anger out on his mirror ever again and crouches on the floor dejectedly instead. He's able to put behind the stabbing pain to his side, as a pain more unbearable swelled tightly in his chest. It’s difficult to breathe as he struggles to rid the thought of ending his life. Eventually he pulls himself together and finds his phone again. He presses his phone to his ear and waits. Youngjae picks up on the first ring.

“I’m sorry, Youngjae ah I’m a failure and I’m so sorry. Why don’t you just give up on me? It must be so much easier than dealing with this, with me, all the fucking time. I’m sorry.”

Youngjae remains silent as Jaebum sobs unabashedly into the phone. He’s torn between going over and comforting the elder or keeping his resolve to teach him a painful but valuable lesson. As much as it hurts him to not be by the elder’s side when he needs him the most, he loves him more than his own selfish feelings. He values him more than himself.

“Hyung, you can’t keep saying sorry and expecting me to forgive you and run over to your side. Not this time.” He says firmly.

Jaebum hates how weak and desperate he’s behaving but the words are out before he realises it, “Please? I’m sorry, be mad at me another time I just need you with me now.”

Youngjae feels the tears well in his eyes but he can’t keep giving in. It’s for their relationship, he reminds himself, it’s for Jaebum but more importantly, this is for himself.

“Don’t be a such a jerk, hyung. I’m not going over, scratch that, I’m not meeting you until you finally realise what's wrong and feel that you can come to see me.”

It’s completely silent as Jaebum registers the finality in Youngjae’s tone. He’s really messed up this time.

“But what if I can’t stop Youngjae ah? Does this mean you’ll never want to see me again?” Jaebum’s voice barely comes out as a whisper as his fingernails leave deep imprinted marks on his palm.

“Yes…”

It’s faint but it leaves Jaebum’s throat and heart scorching.


	2. Trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebum picks up the courage to finally face Youngjae but the tables are turned, and will it be enough to have him back?

Youngjae opens the door at 3am in the morning to a disheveled looking Jaebum. It has been two years since he walked out. He rubs his eyes in uncertainty and disbelief. He must be dreaming. Although, the dream feels very real with every single fibre in his body trembling with anxiety and anticipation. He lost count of the number of times he has imagined their reunification but tonight, felt too early. He isn’t ready. But then again, when will he ever be?

Jaebum throws his arms around the younger man.

He buries his face in the crook of Youngjae’s neck, and deeply inhales his fresh and baby powder like scent. Oh, how much he missed him. He could hardly believe that this was real.

Jaebum gradually loosened his grip, realising that Youngjae isn’t reciprocating his embrace. He cautiously takes a step back. Despite the dim lighting, Jaebum drinks Youngjae’s features in like a starving man. He takes a deep breath to recollect himself. He briefly remembers the ‘script’ he prepared in his phone for over a year on what to say when he meets Youngjae again. But, every word was wiped from his brain as his eyes focused on Youngjae’s lips which were slightly swollen from sleep. Subconsciously, he licks his chapped lips. He hopes he isn’t hallucinating when he catches the younger gulp in nervousness.

It took over a year to get Jaebum sorted. He had a lot of debt to return and masked men who chased after him on a daily basis. Despite knowing better, if they caught up to him, he would always fight back. He used to think that it didn’t matter what happened to him. He didn’t care how bloodied or bruised his face would become or how much his body ached in protest. He had no one. And he believed that if he didn’t care, no one else should either. But, Youngjae proved him otherwise. He would always scold the elder for not taking care of himself better and before him, Youngjae had never seen a cut so wide or blood so red, but as treating the elder’s wounds slowly became a routine, the stench of his wound didn’t bother him as much anymore. But that didn’t mean, he was used to it. Each time after stitching his wounds, he would dart straight for the bathroom and vomit his queasiness away.

Youngjae’s friends always asked him why he did it. Why he would put himself in discomfort in order to be with Jaebum? But his answer was always the same and so simple in contrast to the complicated relationship he doomed himself in.

“Because, I love him.”

During his time away, Jaebum finally understood that he had taken Youngjae for granted. He took his forgiveness and loving hugs and gentle kisses for granted. And not a single day went by where he did not regret it. After settling his debt, he tried to forget him. It was in the middle of winter, and he was ecstatic with finally being released as a free man from his debtors. He felt like all the accumulated stress and pressure took his youth away from him. He felt relieved, but not as relieved as he would have been if he had Youngjae to share the good news with. He bought a packet of chips and Youngjae’s favourite hot chocolate from the cafe near his workplace. He pondered over the thought of finding Youngjae and asking him to be his lover again. But as the night rolled on, he was afraid and began to drown in his uneasiness and inadequacy. What if Youngjae had already moved on? He should have (but what if he didn’t?). Jaebum didn’t want to dwell on the possibility of feigning happiness for him if he found another person to love. He was scared that he would upset the younger, because if he did witness him with another man, he may have a violent relapse and tear the other person to shreds. His memories with Youngjae kept him awake till the next day. The hot chocolate long gone cold on his coffee table. He didn’t even like chocolate.

Eventually, his curiosity got the better of him. He mustered the courage to find Youngjae. It was raining heavily and he cowardly convinced himself that it was the gods telling him not to do it. He waited for the storm to clear but it was past 2am and the night landscape was still a scary mess of boisterous thunder and irregular flashes of lightning. Kind of like how he was feeling inside right now as Youngjae continues to stare at him impassively. The younger used to be so easy to read but it was either he got better at concealing his emotions or he specifically had built a wall so that only Jaebum wouldn’t be able to.

Finally, Youngjae relaxes his grip on the door handle and beckons him inside. Jaebum is soaked from head to toe by the storm and being unable to ignore his kind nature, he gestures for Jaebum to follow him into his room. They remain completely silent as Youngjae tosses him a white T-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants to change into. Jaebum doesn’t realise how cold he is until he tried to thanked him. He was shivering so much that he couldn’t get his mouth to say the words. Youngjae gulps and looks away, refusing to pity him. So, he left and closed the door behind him.

Youngjae feels like a wreck. He sighs while waiting for the water to boil as he tried to piece together his already scrambled brain (and heart). What the fuck is his rebellious and perpetually moody and hot ex-boyfriend doing at his house at 3.30am in the bloody morning. How the hell did he even hear the door bell ring at this absurd timing? He dismisses the thought of fate bringing them back together although, his intuition tells him otherwise.

He hands Jaebum a mug of hot coffee while internally hating himself for remembering how he used to make it. Nonetheless, his throat chokes up at how Jaebum’s eyes light up after tasting it. There used to be a time when Jaebum proudly announced how his coffee was the best he’s ever had and that he was never going to drink any other coffee made by anyone else again. Surprisingly, this was one of the few promises he ever kept.

“Thank you,” Jaebum murmurs after taking another sip. Youngjae nods in acknowledge and focuses his eyes on the ceiling. He can already feel the tears well up and he hates himself for still being weak at the sight of him.

Jaebum is the first person who breaks the silence.

“How are you?"

“Fine, you?"

“Better…"

When he doesn't elaborate, Youngjae probes him with concerned eyes.

“I…paid all my debts a year ago. I’m a free man.”

“But?”

Till today, Youngjae is the only person who sees through his facade and genuinely bothers to care. It is something Jaebum swears never to under appreciate ever again.

“But, it took me awhile to stop fighting for good. I visited a counsellor ha,” He chuckles and finishes the rest of his coffee. Youngjae stands up to refill his cup and although Jaebum doesn't want him to go, he isn’t sure if this was the last time so he remains quiet.

“I met an arrogant doctor once, who asked me to find him when I was in trouble. I didn’t know if he would keep to his promise but unexpectedly he did and told me that he was a certified counsellor as well. Thanks to him, we slowly sorted my fucked up self out and it’s not a huge difference but I think, my mind is in a much better place than where it was before.” Jaebum explains once Youngjae returned. His hands briefly brushed over Youngjae’s and his skin felt hot once they lost contact. Oh, how much he missed him.

“Youngjae ah,” Jaebum whispers, dreading what is about to come next. But, he has to know and no matter what his answer, he needs to be sure he will be calm enough to receive it. He needs to keep calm for Youngjae. “Have you moved on…?

Youngjae gasps, startled by his sudden question. To be honest, he wants to know if the elder have moved on too seeing how he used to always have a string of suitors after him. But with his question and Jaebum’s stance, he knows he hasn't and he feels more relieved than he would like to admit. He releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding and decides to be truthful, “Yes."

Jaebum’s eyes shoots up so fast that it gives him a headache. He shouldn’t have hoped. He knew what was coming. He deserves it.

“Yes, I’ve moved on from the toxic relationship we once had.” But, I’ve never once moved on from you. "I did go on a couple of dates, but I couldn’t find someone else who needed as much of my love as you did.” Youngjae can’t help the flattered smile that reaches his lips as Jaebum furrows his eyebrows at the news.

Jaebum remains quiet for awhile and Youngjae isn’t sure if he’d lash out like he used to. He prepares himself for it though, as he recalled how Jaebum nearly killed a guy at the convenience store who showed interest without knowing he was taken. He braces himself for the impact that never came. Jaebum calmly puts down his mug before questioning, “How many guys have you dated exactly?” He doesn’t want to break his cup by accident.

“Is that really important?” Youngjae blushes in response. He only dated 3 guys actually for 2-3 months each before initiating the break up. By the last person, he had already resigned himself to his pathetic fate: he was never going to find anyone as intriguing and intense as Jaebum. He was never going to find someone that he craved for as much as Jaebum. As wrong as he might be, he was addictive. Youngjae’s sweetest sin.

“You’re right, it’s not important.” Jaebum finally admits bashfully. “What’s important is, are you seeing anyone right now?” His gaze pierces through Youngjae’s soul and he has imagined this exact scenario probably a thousand times before, and has decided that he would protect himself by lying and saying yes, but with Jaebum sitting a couple of centimetres away from him and smelling like lavender, oak and the rain, he subconsciously blurts out the truth, “No."

Jaebum stops the approaching ear-splitting grin. It's still too early to rejoice and be happy.

“Will you, will you accept me again?” Jaebum asks, meekly.

Previously, Jaebum was the dictator of their relationship. He never really gave Youngjae the choice as whenever he suggested something, it wasn’t really a question but more of a statement; sometimes even a challenge when Youngjae disagrees. Right now, Youngjae doesn’t know how to react as Jaebum reveals yet another side of him. For the first time since he’s known him, Jaebum’s giving him a choice to walk away.

“Can you give me some time to think?” Youngjae finally breathes out.

Jaebum feels his lungs deflate but he holds onto the hope that he wasn't rejected up front. Youngjae just needs some time to think and Jaebum made up his mind before coming that he would respect the younger’s decision - no matter what. No one means more to him than him right now so, even though every cell in his body protested against leaving Youngjae without a hug or one too many kisses, he keeps to his resolve and leaves his number on a piece of scrap paper for Youngjae to call him, or not.

It's shortly past 6am and despite being aware that his concentration was going to be gone during work later, he holds no regrets.

Youngjae calls him a week later.

“Ask me again."

“Choi Youngjae, I love you. Will you accept me again?"

“Provided that everything you’ve said to me wasn’t a lie,"

“I swear upon my life."

“Then, about damn time Im Jaebum, yes I will."


End file.
